From the very beginning I could see here eyes wandering, unfocused. I approached her, and she danced with me. Yet she was looking mostly to her sides, inviting others to dance as well. She was waiting for someone to open her heart to, and let the pain break through the barriers and flow outside.
I was the one who approached the girl with the wandering eyes, and she gave in to me. Outside together, I asked what she was doing now, what she was planning to do for the future. After she said a bit her worries seemed to slacken her mood and she said she would rather dance than think about it. So we danced again, now closely, our bodies touching at times, gently caressing each other. At a time she went out, and a while later I came outside as well. She was sitting on the swing, and I sat next to her. A flash forward and we were lying on the grass, looking at the night's sky. She came to mention my favourite director and most valuable film, one that is very rarely known, as a treasure. At that point I could immidiatelly feel the bond beteen us. I put my hand across her shoulder. And then, we rolled over and shared our fist gentle kiss.
"We shouldn't do this here," she said, and I agreed, since there were many people around. So we went back in. Now, when we danced, she returned my gaze. All the time we drank more, as not to descend to the level of usual mortality, but not too much. Next when we got out I asked her if she wanted to go further away from the party, and she agreed. We were alone together for the very first time, and I remember feeling under my skin this connection between me and her.
We got back to my room I share with a friend. He immidiatelly asked if I needed a separate room, to which I said yes. He already had the key ready, having taken it for himself in hope of finding a companion for the night, but failing. Inside the room, the light didn't turn on. So after closing the door behind us, we were in near complete darkness inside. We stumbled into the bed, and in a moment we were lying in each other's embrace, kissing passionatelly.
After some minutes she said she must go back and talk with the friends she was supposed to be staying with. So we went on the flow back to the party. I told here that I think she's pretty. And she was even more than that to my eyes. She found her friend there, and then we danced together again. We went to the bar for another strong drink, her taking it down in a shot and me taking my time with it. Then, when we came outside, she took me by the hand and said she would like to go to the desert.
We went, first hand in hand, and then running, to the back gate. She was the first to climb under it. I was a little scared, not being used to go into the desert at night, images of doezens of little snaked coming into my mind. Yet it was a beautifull dark still world. We walked across the trail by the fence, lighted by the lamps nearby. Then we ran into the endless desert, the world around us losing focus. In a short distance were mountains, climbing high above. We stopped by a nearly extinguished fire. A moment later she was lying by my side, my hand across her back and her head on my shoulder. The vast night's sky was around us, the moon and countless stars glimmering together. She cuddled in my arms, receiving my warmth. She was talking, yet her words were blurry, and I couldn't strain myself to listen. To me everything was perfect the way it was, and words did not matter.
She almost fell asleep there, yet it was too cold, and I felt drawn to my warm room, for us to fall asleep there together. So I helped her up, and we went back to the gate and climbed back under it. We walked by a playing park, and she jumped towards the swings. She said "swing me like a little kid". She tried first to sit on the kids swing, yet it was too small for her, so she sat on the regular swing. Swinging her, I remembered a poem I had written, but it was too melancholy for me to recite. Then we went on the carousel, and the whole world around us faded away except the person in front of each of us. In my memory she blurred into so many others. It was girls from faraway places, who had something distant and beautiful, warm and cold. She was something I have never seen before and will never see again, her aura completely different from everything I have come to know. And her unique radiance drew me in. I said to her that I feel there is a deep connection between us. A bubble of glass was separating us from the rest of the world, slowly gliding through space. I remeber her saying, "everything is so complicated, you know", and the rest of her words blurring in. Spinning, I said to her it reminded me of a song,
"row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merilly, merilly, merilly, Life is but a dream", and we recited it together while spinning. She wanted to spin faster, so I closed my eyes and held on tight. Everything around me was not like a dream - it was real and solid. Yet this song, it reminded me of childhood memories, a time when you could believe life was just a dream. Something from long ago, a time that can never be brought back. Perhaps I already knew what was about to happen. We headed towards my room, one of a long line of rooms connected together. Around us were silence and the trees and the grass and the night's sky. I said to her - if she wanted to come into my room or not - it was entirely up to her. At last she decided to come in with me.
In the darkness, we couldn't find any balnkets, so I asked her to trust me and went to my friend’s room for a sleeping bag. When I came back into the room, into the darkness, she was still lying there. I spread the sleeping bag across both of us, and we fell asleep in each other's arms. The bubble of glass around us intact, shining ever so brightly through the night's sky. And as the night left and morning came, the bubble of glass faded away like a dream, and dissapeared.
נכתב בתחילת 2007
