The words I've never said

Now it seems like eons, the day that we first met
You were young, beautiful, charming and full of wit
Yet so silent and insecure
I couldn't tell if you were easy for me
or I was the one challenged with loneliness

The jerk I was, never valued what I've had
Slowly sinking in the bonds of my ever decomposing mind
I've took your words for silence
And your embrace for granted

As a matter of a fact, I doubt I changed my ways ever since
Denying ourselves, we killed us, leaving doors unopened, mouths woven shut,torn minds and crushed bodies all behind in desperation for a new beginning

These are the words I've never said
These are the things I've never did
These are the sleepless nights and restless days
These are the undying thoughts of you
These are the broken glasses, cigarette butts and used syringes, all spread to a grand feast in your honor

This is your dancing silhouette in my dreams,
The katatonic pleasure haunting me in my wake
This is your decayed smile
These are the trembling hands of god in the moment of my creation
This is my wondering mind
This is you getting undressed, as if for me, once again
This is my remorseful amnesia
These are your razor blade tears, deep within my flesh

These are the years passed
The months, weeks, days, hours, second, moments it took me to realize
Without you I'm nothing