Dear mom

Dear mom
I'm struggling to find the right words
It's hard for me to write it down
No words can fix this broken sound
While my crystal tears come crashing to the ground
Because I can't live like this anymore
If you keep pushing me
I'm going to walk out through that door
Out for good
Out from your life
The way you say these words
You cut my soul with your fatal knife

You said you don't want to close your eyes before I reach my happiness
So why when I finally start to build my own life
My happy nest
To build my happy home
To grow my happy tree
You make my life a living hell and disagree

Every word you say kills me more and more
With every pill I take I'm preparing for this exhausting war
A war where fields of ash are all we share
With gasping lungs, we breathe the heavy air
A tragic end to what was once so rare
A battle won, but the crown is made of thorns
You won the argument, but left me so torn

So dear mom
What's next after you dropped your fucking bomb
Do you expect me to forgive you
After making me feel so numb
from a loving child
To be cold as Ice
That's the price you pay after you have rolled the dice

Every word you say kills me more and more
With every pill I take I'm preparing for this exhausting war
A war where fields of ash are all we share
With gasping lungs, we breathe the heavy air
A tragic end to what was once so rare

All I want is for you to be my mom again,
To hold my hand and let the fighting end.
Just look at my smile and see that I'm okay
And let me live my life in my own special way.
I just need your warmth, the way it used to be
A supportive mother who stands right next to me.

All I want is for you to be my mom again
To finally let the heavy shadows bend.
Just see my happiness and let me breathe
Accept the life and choices I achieve.
I need you standing by me, strong and true
To just be my mother, and let me be me too